Sunday 31 July 2011

Strange Laws 2

 It is illegal for a cab in the City of London to carry rabid dogs or corpses.
But it’s alright to pick up people who urinate themselves and vomit all over the place, give me a rabid dog any day.

It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
When I watch them on the telly most of them look dead, and what is the sentence if you do break this law.

It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down.
Treason is still a capital offence in England, so you’ve been warned.

In France, it is forbidden to call a pig Napoleon.
But it’s alright to call them Josephine  

In Ohio, it is against state law to get a fish drunk.
My cat told me this, just after he told me he loved me.

 Royal Navy ships that enter the Port of London must provide a barrel of rum to the Constable of the Tower of London.
Don’t ask this guy for directions….. ask my cat

  In Lancashire, no person is permitted after being asked to stop by a constable on the seashore to incite a dog to bark.
Meow

  In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.
Now that is a danger w@&k!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 In England, all men over the age of 14 must carry out two hours of longbow practice a day.
Hang on are we still on the subject of Indonesia penalties?

In the UK, a man who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for his rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle.
Unless of course in the middle of longbow practice.

In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on Sundays can be jailed.
At last a law that make sense.

In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon more than six-feet long.
Right then I’ll unpack my longbow.

In the city of York, it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.
And if he is its best not to disturb him because he is obviously wan…. Oops … I mean practicing.

In London, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague.
Lucky I don’t abide by this law, or I would never have anyone to pick up!

3 comments:

  1. Brouhahahaha lots of long bows and drinking also s*x and other really funny stuff. Clever.

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  2. And in England it is still on the statute books that an Englishman can kill a Welshman but only on a Sunday and only in Chester. I guess the Welsh don't visit that day :)

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